Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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