You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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