It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?