i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
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Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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