I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize