at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.