I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
should my penis look like a turkey
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
