i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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