Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
