Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Come on in and take your pants off
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