Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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