You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
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seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize