Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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