Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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