Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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