i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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