Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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