chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
All I want is dick and wine.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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