Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize