I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just high enough for therapy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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