we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize