Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
