Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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