he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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