My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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