Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
