I am puke
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
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Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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