So gin and wine won't be happening again
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
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He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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