I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
