She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
