My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
