Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
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i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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