We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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