Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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