he shaved USA in his pubs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
