All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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