as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
