Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
