i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
be right there i have to get my cape
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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