Jerry, you need to find god
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street