in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one