Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.