Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
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Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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