oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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