Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
