I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize