i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
