SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
