PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
