i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize