Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize