He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What drink are we having for lunch?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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